A PREGNANT woman has ignited debate after sharing that she wants to give birth to her second child without her husband there.
In a post on Mumsnet, Jen* admitted she felt anxious and embarrassed over giving birth in front of him again, given his previous comments about her first labour.
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The mum-of-one is due to give birth in a couple of weeks but said she can't get over the fact that her husband has repeatedly reminded her that "some poo came out" during her last birth.
"He constantly reminds me about how it was really gross," she says.
"He's made references to it a few times and I don't know if I feel comfortable knowing it might happen again and he won't let it go."
Despite her subtly hinting that she might not want him in the room this time around, he was insistent on being there as he was during the last birth.
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"If I told him the truth that it was embarrassing that he commented, then he probably wouldn't mention it, but I'd know he was thinking it," she explained.
"I don't know if it's just hormones because he's a very supportive husband, but I don't think I feel comfortable with him seeing me in that situation again, or am I just being anxious?"
The post quickly received over 200 replies, with many users expressing outrage at her husband's insensitivity.
"Why does he constantly remind you about that? So mean," one user asked.
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Another commenter encouraged her to stand her ground, stating, "Tell him you don't want him there, and tell him why.
“I'd like to see him push something the size of a grapefruit out of himself while somehow managing to keep perfect control of his bowels."
Watch the dramatic moment mum-to-be, 32, gives birth in the front seat of her car
Many echoed this sentiment, with one saying, "What an absolute pr*ck of a man he is. Have you not told him how upsetting his comments are?"
And more support flowed in for Jen, with another user writing: "It's your body and your choice. Of course, you will feel more comfortable and empowered if you aren't worried about someone judging you all the time."
How do women's figures change after giving birth?
TO SAY the body changes during pregnancy and childbirth is an understatement.
Throughout the nine months it takes for the body to bring a baby into the world, it goes through some huge physical changes.
Considering how different the body looks duringpregnancy, it's not surprising that there are some lasting changes.
And it some ways, it never does, Doctor Rachel Ward, aGPat Woodlands Medical Centre, Derby, said.
1.Wider ribcage and hips
"During pregnancy in order to accommodate a growing baby and prepare for giving birth, our body produces a hormone called relaxin," she explained.
Relaxin works by increasing the flexibility and movement in our joints and ligaments.
"Many women find that after pregnancy the shape of their pelvis and ribcage remains different," Dr Rachel said.
It is common to need a differentbra sizedue to a change in chest circumference, the expert said.
"This is a reminder of the changes your body made to accommodate your baby and is nothing to be worried about," she added.
2. Change in skin colour
During pregnancy, most women experience skin changes as it stretches to accommodate your bump and enlarging breasts.
"It is not uncommon to develop stretch marks.
"Though they will often fade over time and become a shiny pale colour, depending on your skin tone they will not go away completely," Dr Rachel said.
"Some people do not like the waystretch markslook but they are an incredibly common change that we see in many people," she added.
3. A change in breast shape
Breasts increase in size during pregnancy as the breast tissue prepares to produce milk.
And shortly after birth they will start to produce milk and become swollen, Dr Ward explained.
"If you choose to breast feed or not, it is likely that the shape, size and way your breasts look and feel will be different after pregnancy compared to before," she added.
"This is not a problem but it is important that we do learn what the new normal is for our breasts so we can stay breast aware and pick up and changes that could be cancer."
And someone else concluded with this advice: "Do what makes you comfortable, not what society says you should. Birth shouldn't be a spectator sport."
*Names have been changed
This story was originally published on Kidspot and has been republished here with permission.
Some fathers found childbirth to be a stressful experience [4, 18, 19]. Somers-Smith stated that fathers were uncertain about their supporting role, the well being of their partner and any complications that might occur to the mother or to the baby [4].
Don't get too bogged down with obsessively timing the contractions, however, because it can make the labor seem longer than it is. Be available to help your partner do whatever she wants to stay relaxed at this point, such as watching her favorite TV show, going for a walk, showering, or even taking a nap.
I would tell your husband you want to labor/birth alone or with (alternative support), then have him come in when it's done. I think it's 100% ok to ask him to not be there. If he's not someone who is going to be supportive and helpful the last thing you need it to be more stressed out cause your worried about him.
The current study showed that the husband's involvement plays a vital role in childbirth as the presence of the husband in the delivery room can provide emotional support for the mother.
Some studies show postpartum anger can coincide with other postpartum conditions like postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. Mental health and mood changes are common after childbirth. With so many changes in your hormones, health and daily life, it's understandable that your mood can shift.
The main hormonal change is a drop in testosterone, the male sex hormone. “Testosterone is great when you're in the mating/dating game because it makes you more competitive, more motivated to look for a mate”, says Anna. But when you become a dad, this drop is one way your body prepares you for your new role.
If you are a support person who has given birth before, one thing not to do is tell the laboring mom and every nurse, midwife or doctor that comes in the room how short and easy your labor was! Continue to reassure her she's doing great, and that sometimes, labor just takes time.
Pregnant women and heavy lifting don't go together due to strains on their backs. So take the load off her as much as you can. Encourage good lifestyle choices. You can help your partner to eat more healthily, and make sure you reduce the risk of any infections they might get from foods.
hold your hand, wipe your face and give you sips of water. massage your back and shoulders, and help you move about or change position. comfort you as your labour progresses and your contractions get stronger. remind you how to use relaxation and breathing techniques, perhaps breathing with you if it helps.
There's no required waiting period before you can have sex after childbirth. But a typical recommendation is to wait to have sex until after you've had a medical appointment with your healthcare professional to check your health following childbirth. That's true for both vagin*l deliveries and C-sections.
You aren't obligated to have anyone there, for any reason. You might have some guilt, or field some comments like "But it's MY grandbaby!" But stay strong, Mamma. Your procedure, your choice.
You can usually stay with your partner during a planned or emergency c-section unless they need a general anaesthetic. The midwife or operating assistant will give you a top, trousers and hat to wear in the operating theatre. This is for hygiene reasons.
Surprise them. It doesn't have to be big; you can give your partner flowers, cook them food, take her out for a meal, get her favorite drink, etc. These all things will help your partner feel loved, also she will be able to blow off some air.
It is very normal for fathers to feel emotional during childbirth. Witnessing the birth of their child is a powerful and transformative experience that can evoke strong emotions.
You can encourage the mum-to-be to keep active during labour and help her move about or change positions so she feels more comfortable . You could also offer to massage her back and shoulders, wipe her face with a cold flannel, or simply give her a reassuring hug.
How early can a man experience pregnancy symptoms? A man can experience pregnancy symptoms of couvade syndrome as early as his pregnant partner's first trimester. The symptoms often disappear in the second trimester before reappearing in the third trimester, which is when it's at its worst.
It's naturally a great feeling of success, as they've just achieved a very high instinctual goal in men. It feels great of them physically and emotionally, though it generally wears off pretty quick after the experience.
Introduction: My name is Terrell Hackett, I am a gleaming, brainy, courageous, helpful, healthy, cooperative, graceful person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.
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